Fck you Chili. Fck. You.

Yup, I said it. Fck you chili….Now let me tell you why. This morning I am packing my lunch. I open a can of chili and set it on the counter. As I am reaching over to grab two tupperware containers to split the chili into my cat, the Fonz, decides he wants to join me on the kitchen counter. As I turn in slow motion I see kitty jumping up and planting his foot in my chili can and sending it flying off the counter towards the floor, my wall, and all over 3 pairs of running shoes, my vans and a pair of tan heels. As the chili is flying towards the floor I grab kitty by the scruff of the neck and pitch him out of the way (Fonz and I havent spoken since so I  am pretty sure we’re in a fight right now). UGH stupid kitty! Stupid Chili!. So I pick up all my shoes and rinse them off in thekitchen since, wipe down the wall, and mop up the half a can of chili thats still on the floor. There is however, still a half a can of chili left in tact so I dump it into a tupperware container and pack it in my lunch bag and get on with my day. Cut to….

Me in the office at 3pm today deciding its time to eat lunch. Michelle and I are chatting in the kitchen as I pull out my chili and lift the lid off the tupper ware leaving it loosly on I pop it in the microwave for 2 minutes. I had actually entirely forgotten about the morning chili incident by this point.With 1 minute and 10 seconds left on the timer I reach to open the microvae and check my chili’s temperature. My hand is no more than 2 inchec from the stop button when I hear a loud *POP* and watch to my dismay as the lid flys off of my chili and the tupperware actually flips over and lands face down dumping my chili all over the microwave. I open the door and just stare at it cracking up. Michelle is wide eyed, mouth open “dude what the hell just happened?” It is at this moment I remember the Fonz/running shoe/wall/chili fiasco this morning with the initial half of this meal.

And this is why I say Fck you Chili. Fck. You.


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